the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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