I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
