There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
as a side note pls kill me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize