Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
