so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
