smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
this hospital has no fireball
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
