Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
