I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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