Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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