Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
as a side note pls kill me
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
