there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Panties = found
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize