I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I still have a little drunk in my system
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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