I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How does one acquire holy water?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
