I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
