How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
