She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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