Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize