SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i think i just naturally attract stoners
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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