Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
