so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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