Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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