This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
