I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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