The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
