how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
