is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
