My boss' voice literally gives me gas
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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