Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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