Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
