I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
