He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
