I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
