12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
