I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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