Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
