I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
