I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
