just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
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