Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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