I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
