Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
