She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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