Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
