when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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