9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
