remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
