I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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