i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
