I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
