They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
