You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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