I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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