I hate your face
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
When are your genitals available?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
