You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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