If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He kissed a someone with a penis
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize