thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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