is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
