Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize