id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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