I think I died a long time ago.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
